A Little Lube Never Hurt Anybody

I'm not going to point any fingers. I'm not going to name any names. But I've got to tell you, nothing pulls me out of a love scene like a lack of realism. Don't get me wrong, the vast majority of the books I read take place outside of the realm of reality. I read about vampires and werewolves, ghosts, demons, witches and dragons. I enjoy a little fantasy, but not when it comes to the mechanics of the act. Case in point: lube. I enjoy some m/m sexing... and every once in a while I may read a menage... both of which invariably lead to back-door loving. But when the author skips the lube, the love scene is ruined for me. Why? Because I'm no longer thinking about anything except, That's really got to hurt. Especially for the virgins.


Of course, a lack of lube isn't the only culprit... though it probably bothers me the most. It also bothers me when the character's sexual prowess is so vast, my brain gets mired in the complexity of the act, thus removing any sensuality from it. I remember reading an older Anita Blake book where the woman had one guy in each hand, one in her mouth, and (I think) one guy in the lady-bits... and I just sat there, wondering Could any woman be so coordinated? I couldn't. I can barely stir two pots at once.


Other winners include the classic "man comes, triggering the woman's orgasm." If that actually worked, why would we need men to make any extra effort at all? Also, sex under water... doable, but rarely as advertised on-page. I could go on, but you get the idea.


I'm not saying I don't appreciate a little embellishment. Even great sex has awkward moments from time to time that we'd all prefer to gloss over, but come on. At least make me feel like what you're describing could happen. Even if it's with an immortal, time traveling, Highland warrior, vampire-shifter hybrid who is overcoming his tortured past to find the one true love that can save his soul... dammit.

Thoughts? Please share.